Woman, why are you crying?
(John 20:1-18)
One sunny afternoon, I was in my second year of seminary, and I found myself alone at a table in the common space outside on campus. I had my lunch and my laptop in front of me as I had several things on my never-ending to-do list. I figured it would be the best use of my time to make this a working lunch. There I was eating my lunch, checking my email, and reflecting on the lecture I had just experienced in a practical theology course. Eating a meal while checking my email was common practice for me, but there was something about the conversation we had just finished in class that had my reflective and introspective wheels turning. The next thing I knew I was doing more crying than I was reading emails and took that as a sign to close the laptop. My body was telling me, through my tears, that this needed to be a more intentional moment. As I was sitting there with my apple in one hand and a napkin in the other, a trusted classmate of mine approached me and asked, “Tierney, are you ok? Why are you crying?”
Jesus said to her, “Woman, why are you weeping? Whom are you looking for?” [v.15]
Reading the encounter in John 20:1-18 between Mary Magdalene and Jesus reminded me of this moment I had with my classmate. I remember how it felt in that moment to be seen. How it felt to be checked in on. How it felt to feel like my tears and emotions were acknowledged. To know that no matter what my classmate had going on in her own life, she took the time to see about me.
I can only imagine how Mary Magdalene felt as she was weeping in front of an empty tomb. To be seen, checked in on, and acknowledged by Jesus, while he was amid one of the most significant assignments of his life and ministry. With all he had going on at that moment, he took the time to be present with her in her time of need. I’m particularly intrigued by the way we see Jesus caring for a Black woman. Amid this life-changing moment, he took the time to pause and see about a Black woman.
Considering the theme of resurrection, my personal memory, and this encounter between Jesus and Mary Magdalene, I found myself wrestling with two overarching questions:
Who was the last person I checked in on?
When was the last time I had a good cry?
As I reflected on this first question my mind immediately went on the defensive. Well, I’ve been busy. My folks know how I feel about them. I recognize I need to be more intentional with this. But then I had to interrupt that train of thought and go back to the original question. Who was the last person I checked in on? After reframing my mindset, I thought about the person and who they are to me. I reflected on the relationship, and how it made me feel to have been able to offer them a space to feel seen, heard, valued, and cared for. Then I thought about my community and the ways other people do that same thing for me.
I’m reminded of the ways Jesus lived his life as an example of how we should care for and see about one another. In this intimate moment he shared with Mary Magdalene I believe we bear witness to an example of how we can live out the way of Jesus in our everyday lives. If we want to be the change we want to see, we must be the community we desire.
Now I begin to grapple with this second question, when was the last time I had a good cry? This question was easier for me to answer on the surface than the first question because it was personal. I know, even if no one else does, the last time I cried. Then I took a step back and wondered if that experience qualified as a good cry. Was I attempting to hold back the tears? Was I in a space I deemed inappropriate to cry? Was I crying about something I didn’t think was worthy of my tears? And just like that this question had become more difficult to sort out than the first. As I continued my processing of what signified a good cry, I thought about what I see in Mary’s tears. I see power in her tears. I see beauty in her tears. I see concern, joy, pain, confusion… in her tears.
Then I thought about what I see in the tears of other Black women.
“The tear that quietly trickled down Ketanji Brown Jackson’s unflinching face on day three of bruising Supreme Court confirmation hearings spoke loudly about the arc of her journey.” [1] I see perseverance in her tears.
Rihanna says, “I don’t cry loads. If I cry it’s because I’m very angry and I can’t do anything about it, because I’ve run into a dead end. That’s when the tears would come down.” [2] I see desperation in her tears.
What do you see in your tears?
Woman, why are you crying? Whether you’re asking or receiving the question, I believe it’s important to remember that whatever you’re currently facing does not require you to be too composed to cry.
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[2] https://www.aaihs.org/the-tears-struggles-and-hopes-of-black-women/
Hailing from Macon, GA, Rev. Tierney C. Jordan self identifies as a body and sex positive Afro-Christian Womanist in living and praxis. Rev. Tierney graduated from Georgia Southern University in 2017 with a Bachelor of Science and from McAfee School of Theology at Mercer University with a Masters of Divinity in 2021. They currently serve as Executive Pastor at The Faith Community. In addition to congregational ministry, Rev. Tierney has done work curating digital sacred space as the founder of IAmTierneyJ Productions. Rev. Tierney is a proud member of Delta Sigma Theta Sorority, Inc. She also enjoys reading books, watching movies, traveling, and spending time with her fur baby Tripp.