Seeing Jesus
(John 12:20-36)
As we make our way to the cross on this Holy Tuesday, I am reminded of a young person I met at Covenant House New York[1] named Journey[2]. I remember our first encounter vividly. She was walking down the hallway, blasting gospel music from her phone. We struck up a conversation about our mutual love for the genre and the song she was playing at the time. As we continued to talk, Journey learned that I was a pastor and began to share her interest in ministry and what she felt to be her call to preach. She asked for guidance on the steps she would need to take to get into a seminary and later be ordained. I was excited to hear that Journey felt God calling her to ministry; I was willing to help her in any way I could. However, she was surprised by my acceptance and affirmation of her expressed call. Her father had told her that God could not call her to ministry because of her “lifestyle” and her choice to live in her truth as a transgender woman. Her father was also a pastor. My immediate response was to debunk the notion and the widely held conservative religious and theological position which suggests that God rejects LGBTQ people and that God would not call a transgender woman to do God’s work through ordained ministry. I encouraged her to continue to seek support from people she trusts as she further discerns her call. She was excited and agreed to come back and speak with me later.
About a day after our initial conversation, I was on the phone in the office when Journey walked in. She was agitated. “I need to talk to you,” she muttered.
As I looked up, I noticed that she had a shirt wrapped around her forearm, and blood was on the shirt. I immediately got off the phone. She unwrapped the shirt and exposed her forearm, which showed fresh cuts that went around the circumference of her arm from her wrist to her elbow. Cuts so raw that as she unwrapped the shirt, blood began to drip onto the floor. I sat her down and called for medical assistance, and as we waited for them to arrive, I asked her to share with me what happened so that I could get a sense of what triggered her. Her first response was, “This has to stop.”
I probed further. “What has to stop? Has someone done something to you? Said something to you that made you feel uncomfortable?”
“No, none of that,” she said. “It’s this whole sexual orientation situation.”
I knew then that she was referring to her father’s rejection of her and his dismissal of her expressed call to ministry. As I watched the blood drip from her arm and onto the floor, I was overcome with a deep sense of empathy for her and disappointment in the church. In a real sense, I could feel what those standing at the foot of the cross felt as they watched the blood drip from Jesus’ crucified body and felt the intensity of his cry, “Eli, Eli, lama sabachthani?” deep within their soul. And at that moment, and in Journey, I could see Jesus.
Seeing Jesus was the desire of the Greeks who approached Philip at the festival in today’s text. They’d wished to see and experience the miracle-working Jesus everybody in the hood talked about. Based on what they’d heard about Jesus and the fanfare surrounding his entry into Jerusalem, I presume they already had an image of him in their minds. Jesus, the critically acclaimed Messiah. Their means to health, wealth, and political power. Their king. But their image of Jesus was off. And while we never read about their testimony, I imagine what they saw when they finally met Jesus was nothing like what they’d expected to see.
I imagine that rather than a rich ruler dripped in Jerusalem’s finest fashions, Jesus looked like:
The homeless woman pushes a shopping cart filled with her belongings down the block as she makes her way to her tent in a nearby homeless encampment.
The trafficking survivor is forced to engage in survival sex in exchange for food and a place to stay.
The dope fiend on the corner suffering from mental illness, holding a "Why lie? I need a beer" sign.
I imagine Jesus looked like Breonna Taylor.
Like Rekia Boyd.
Like Sandra Bland.
Like Journey.
The Greeks who desired to see Jesus probably saw him many times before that day and overlooked him because he didn’t look as they had expected. And perhaps, it was their thwarted vision, and not his imminent death, that troubled Jesus’ soul the most. But how often do we truly see Jesus in the people that don’t look like us? And how much of our inability to see Jesus in others is about our own spiritual blindness?
If we are to see Jesus, we have to accept and recognize the image and likeness of God in everyone we encounter.
“For I was hungry, and you gave me no food, I was thirsty, and you gave me nothing to drink, I was a stranger, and you did not welcome me, naked and you did not give me clothing, sick and in prison and you did not visit me.’ Then they also will answer, ‘Lord, when was it that we saw you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or naked or sick or in prison, and did not take care of you?’ Then he will answer them, ‘Truly I tell you, just as you did not do it to one of the least of these, you did not do it to me.’” (Matt. 25:42-45 NRSV)
The Greeks asking to see Jesus meant that the hour had come in which the relentlessly hunted Christ would make his journey from life to death, but until we can see Jesus in the image of the poor, marginalized, and the executed, we can never fully embody the power of the cross. Seeing Jesus is a prerequisite for salvation. Seeing Jesus is what gets us to the cross. And seeing Jesus right is what makes the cross accessible to people from every hood, every tribe, every language, and every nation. How we see Jesus reestablishes our worth as children of God - for the glory of God.
“Sir, we wish to see Jesus.”
Reflection
Having experienced life on the other side of the resurrection, we tend to rush from Holy Tuesday to Good Friday, because the sooner we get to the cross, the sooner we can get to the empty tomb. But today, I encourage you to pause and take a minute to check your vision. Ask yourself:
How am I seeing Jesus?
Is my faith challenging unhealthy perspectives of God and God’s people?
What difference will seeing Jesus make in my life?
What difference will seeing Jesus make in the world?
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[1] Covenant House New York is the largest provider of services for young people facing homelessness and survivors of human trafficking in New York City, serving nearly 1,900 young adults ages 16-24 annually. Additional information about Covenant House New York can be found at: https://ny.covenanthouse.org/.
[2] Pseudonyms are used in place of real names to maintain confidentiality and protect the privacy of any young person mentioned in this writing.
A native of Newark, New Jersey, Rev. Dr. Shakeema North has worked in the areas of Youth Development and Urban Ministry for over 15 years. As a gifted teacher, preacher, and writer, Dr. North has shared with congregations and organizations across the country and abroad. She currently serves as the Vice President of Youth Development, Equity and Inclusion at Covenant House New York.